In a few weeks, Samantha Vivo, 23, and her partner Kaleb Yager, 28, are due to have a baby girl named Stevvi (pronounced Stevie). This is the couple’s first child.
Together since December 2022, the couple has been checking all the boxes in preparation, like getting maternity photos and signing up for new parenting classes.
“We’ve been working together because it’s new for both of us. It’s been really nice to have direction on how things will change and how to work together on the changes. No one really gives you a handbook on how to have a kid,” said Vivo. She grew up without a mom figure after her mother left the home when she was six.
Becoming a new parent for the first time can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be.
On Feb. 22 and April 4, Nevada County Public Health is launching “Becoming Us” - a free four-session class to equip soon-to-be new parents with the knowledge they need to build a healthier relationship with their partner before the baby arrives.
“It’s not a birth plan, it’s a plan for after the baby comes. I think there are a lot of postpartum classes to prep mom individually. The unique thing about “Becoming Us” is that it addresses the relationship piece,” said Jessica Ferrer, Director of the county's program known as Maternal, Child and Adolescent Health (MCHA).
After the class, couples will feel more connected and acquire the ability to negotiate differences and adjust expectations. For years, the MCHA program has offered a variety of classes and home visits to empower and educate parents and families.
Annually, 800 babies are born in Nevada County, and one in five of those mother’s experiences anxiety and depression after the baby is born.
“We’re looking at 200 to 400 women that could benefit from this program,” said Ferrer.
During pregnancy, couples experience the transition into parenthood, examining new roles and responsibilities, changes in personal identity, and changes in the relationship and family dynamics.
Statistics of new families can be stark. It is estimated that in the U.S., as many as one in four fathers leave the family home by the time their child is four years old.
Conflict and poor communication in the relationship, and lack of partner and family support can lead to depression and anxiety. Paternal distress can adversely affect an infant's emotional and behavioral development.
Over the past nine years, while working with new mothers in the established program, “Moving Beyond Depression” practitioners noticed a commonality with new moms struggling with Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs), formerly known as postpartum depression. A strong correlation surfaced between the mother’s depression and anxiety and the interpersonal relationship with her parenting partner.
“We see a lot of those challenges,” said Toni McCormick, a licensed clinical social worker who has worked with new moms throughout the county since 2016.
“What keeps coming up is the relationship. Couples are struggling with the relationship. What I see is couples coming apart and feeling isolated,” said McCormick.
One in five women experience depression after pregnancy. The good news is that with treatment, most women - more than 80 percent - reach a full recovery.
Based on research out of Australia, the “Becoming Us” classes are designed to be interactive and give new parents a chance to ask questions and have a conversation in a group setting. The course will empower new parents, give them tools to feel more connected, learn how to communicate and work through differences to feel heard and develop their new role and identity, separately and together.
“Parents will learn how to work together to make sure both needs are met,” said McCormick. Parents will learn how to cope with stress and little sleep, and to think ahead and be prepared.
“We’ll be trying to increase that family bond right before and after the baby comes,” said McCormick.
The program will be personalized to meet participants' unique needs. The structure of the course is broken down into five 90-minute sessions: Nest Building, Setting up Base Camp, From Being Me to Becoming Us, Traveling Together, and ends with an After Baby Meetup.
Unlike Moving Beyond Depression, this program does not require a home visiting program for participants to qualify.
“I think going to a relationship-based class can feel uncomfortable at first, but in the end, it will be one of the best things parents can do for themselves and their baby,” said McCormick.
The county’s MCAH programs are a free resource for new families. Nurses provide pregnant parents and families of young children free home visits with breastfeeding support, resource navigation, and health assessments. Infant Feeding Support Group and Parent Meetups are also available.
For Samantha Vivo and Kaleb Yager, the “Becoming Us” program has helped them grow a stronger bond and prepare for the big life changes on the way.
“It’s helped both of us a lot. It’s reassuring to have someone say, ‘it’s going to be hard, but there’s going to be a silver lining,’” said Vivo.
For more information or to sign up for “Becoming Us," register online at www.nevadacountyca.gov/becomingus or contact Jessica Ferrer at 530-265-1491 or Toni McCormick at 775-721-1751.
Learn more about programs for Children and Families, at https://www.nevadacountyca.gov/561/For-Children-Families
Laura Petersen is a freelance writer living in Grass Valley. This is one of a series of articles written on behalf of Nevada County. She can be reached at laurapetersenmedia@gmail.com. Photo: PS I Love You Photography, https://psiloveyouphoto.myportfolio.com/.